Tolerating stress got you down? Stop it with these steps!

What are you tolerating in your life?

Quick Overview

  • Nearly 70% of people don’t like their work
  • Do you live by passion, or what you are expected to do?
  • Was your life easier at one time?
  • Did things change when others became more important?
  • Time doesn’t change your life, you change it
  • Change today or you will be in the same place tomorrow
  • Start with focus which gives rise to new choices

A Gallup study concluded that nearly 70% of the employed are neither engaged, nor inspired by their work. That is an extremely high number. That means nearly 2 out of 3 people don’t like their job.  Either you like your work, or you don’t. If you don't, stop tolerating stress, and follow the steps below.

A quick story about Charles

Charles wasn’t cut out for this line of work. He much preferred to help people with his gardening expertise. When he walked around the block on Saturday's, he would often stop by to lend a hand to anyone working in their yard. He loved getting his hands dirty. Plus, he loved growing things.

Furthermore, he was deeply passionate about teaching people about plants and gardening.

But, oddly enough Charles is not a gardener, an arborist, a landscape designer, nor a farmer. He’s a lawyer. It was a path he followed since his youth. His father was a lawyer, and he was expected to follow. His father was a success, and someday he would be too!

Are you doing what you love?

Following a routine

But going to the office was hardly his passion. His daily routine was in place for about 9 years. He got up early, hit the gym, showered and made it to the office by 7:30 am. It’s just what he did. It was his routine. 

But, he often stayed late, because his focus was so poor during the day. His thoughts were on his garden. Charles bigger problem was that he never enjoyed the work, but was afraid to admit it. He was tolerating stress, and it was starting to get to him.

Because of his gentle nature, he was not well suited for litigation, nor the formalities of law. Deep inside, he often sided with the other party. But he never dared showed it.

Charles is a lawyer because that was expected of him. After all, his father owns the firm.

Charles didn’t choose his passion

You see when Charles took this path in life, he was told it would afford him all the luxuries in the world. It did! He was able to purchase a huge house in an upscale neighborhood, bought two Tesla P85’s, and takes that annual vacation to Tahiti.

There is no shortage of luxury for Charles. But as time passes, Charles is finding it harder to smile, because deep down he doesn't want to be there.

Today, Charles is questioning his life choice as he begins to understand that he is tolerating stress. Secretly he asks “why am I a lawyer, I don’t even like this work”. In fact, just last year he began to contemplate getting out of this field altogether.

But like so many other people, the years just keep passing by. This is Charles 9th year as a lawyer, and he still can’t make the change.

Someday, he hopes things will magically just workout.

Was your life easier at one time?

What about you? Was it really that long ago when things seemed easier? Can you recall a time when your day flowed the way you wanted? When things went your way? Was there a time when you were excited about your future?

Can you recall a time when,

  • getting up for work was easy?
  • exercising and working out was easy?
  • sleeping without pills, and waking refreshed came naturally?

Was your life easier at one time?

Something must have changed

Something in your life must have changed! What made your life go from flow to slow? Maybe some external force was put up on you. Maybe you lost your job, your spouse, or a friend. Or was it something else?

Did your dreams get put on a shelf as you were forced to deal with present challenges. When did you start to tolerate stress as a coping mechanism?

Did you ever notice what happened when you were sidetracked by these events. Time kept slipping by. Each year adding upon the last. Those dreams that you had of remote, faraway vacations and a better life, are still just dreams.

The only difference is that now you are older with more stress and less time.

Those dreams of a higher paying, and more satisfying career never appeared. They unfortunately remain dreams in your head.

And let’s not forget those dreams of a better, healthier body. A time when you would be “in shape” and look and feel great. What about that dream of losing the extra weight?

Those dreams also remain in your head.

When did other people become more important?

Somewhere down the line other things and people became more important. Maybe it was your children, your spouse, your boss, or your boyfriend/girlfriend. One day their needs became more important than your own. Was that the day when your dreams were shelved forever.

Now your life is stressing you out. You were able to tolerate stress before, but now it's become overwhelming.

You have to stay at the office late to catch up, and go to bed late just to catch up at home. The food you eat is unhealthy and you eat too much of it. You can’t find time to exercise. Your clothes don’t fit. The credit cards are maxed out, and what little sleep you get is far from refreshing.

It even takes 3 cups of coffee just to get you going every morning.

Time is not on your side

The passage of time didn’t help you either. It didn’t change a thing. As those years went by it made things worse. You have been slowly realizing that what you really wanted hasn't magically appeared. Another celebrated birthday marks another passing year. But not another dream being fulfilled.

Time continues to tick by.

Unfortunately, how you live today, is how you will live tomorrow.

That’s just the way it is. Time doesn’t suddenly put everything in place. It doesn’t make your needs important. Even though it keeps ticking, it doesn’t make your life suddenly work out!

Time doesn’t do anything for you!

Is time passing you by?

Change takes focus

Before something can change, it takes focus and a plan. Change must be started by you, not someone else. Time doesn't create the changes you want, you must create it.

Sometimes change is forced upon you by outside influences. For example, someone you love may have fallen ill such as your children, a spouse or friend. When it happens your plans get dropped, as you assist in their recovery.

Or worse, you may even lose your job, learn of a death of a close friend, or fall ill yourself.

That’s life they say. But those outside influences in your life are a small part of what is really going on. You still have far more control of the outcome in your life than you know. Even when outside influences affect and derail your plans.

Sure, these instances are outside of you. These external forces happen to you. And when they do, they change the way you live. Some of these events could change the rest of your day, your week and sometimes the rest of your life.

Making a real choice

However there is an option and a powerful tool available right now. You can use this powerful tool anytime you want. It’s so powerful that top performers around the world use it every single day.

This power tool is called making a choice. It's about finding where you tolerate stress.

How often do you make choices?

Have you ever said to yourself:
“I’ve had it, this is going to change today! I’m not going to tolerate this any longer”.

Congratulations if you did, because in that moment you made a choice. You used the greatest tool in your tool box for change.

In this case your current circumstances became so bad that you decided to change right then and there.

Maybe you were finally pushed over the edge when your favorite pants couldn't be buttoned due to a larger waist. Was it in that moment that you realized you must take diet and exercise seriously.

Or maybe it was the time when you finally wanted to move from your apartment. You wanted to buy your own home. But as you started the application process you found that your job and income won't qualify. Was it in that moment your realized you must find a better, higher paying job - today!

Change must be initiated by you

There is one big thing that you must understand before you can become an expert at making change.

Real change comes from a decision within you. Not by someone else, and not by some event. You are the only one that can make the decision to change.

Change may occur because your choices become limited. For example you realized your manager will never give you that promotion you need. If you don't leave that job you will never be able to earn the money you deserve.

Change may occur because you can no longer deal with the current circumstances in your life. For example you may realize after a doctors visit that unless you take diet and exercise seriously your high blood pressure and excess weight will only get worse.

Change may occur because you realize you can’t live the way you are living any longer. For example you may realize that the neighbors in the apartment above will never stop making noise all through the night. The only way to lasting peace and quiet is to buy your own house.

How to make a change

Making a change is not as hard as it may seem. First, it takes the awareness that you are tolerating something in your life that is making you unhappy. Next, it takes creating a plan and taking action until that area is improved. But it starts with the awareness of the problem first.

To make solid and ongoing changes in your life you must:

  1. Discover where you are tolerating stress in your life (hint: it's those thing that make you unhappy but don't seem to go away)
  2. Recognize that dreams do not come true by wishing upon them
  3. Decide to take full responsibility to improve your life in this moment 
  4. Make a choice to better yourself and improve your life in some way right now
  5. Create a plan to get where you want to go
  6. Take consistent action every day until you get what you want

One small step each day

Charles knew he was tolerating stress in his job. It was making him unhappy and it wasn't changing. But Charles wasn’t ready to quit, at least not yet. He started with small steps each day.

First, he decided to work on an action plan for a new career. He decided to “put his own happiness first”. He decided to stop tolerating stress of a career that he doesn’t even like.

Charles started taking a landscape design course at the local college. He started to rub shoulders with other gardeners, and professionals. He decided to learn more about what they do, and how they earn their living.

What small steps can you take today?

You see Charles made a decision to stop tolerating stress that what was making him unhappy. As he took action, many new doors are opening wide for him.

He is giving his passion a voice. He is raising the importance of his own needs. He is finally seeing what it is like to make himself a priority.

Are you ready to stop tolerating stress?

So what stress are you tolerating? What things must you prepare to let go of?

Is it finally time to get in shape?
Has the time come for a new job?
Will you finally take that dream vacation?
Are you ready to buy a house?
Can you start that new business today?

What's really holding you back? Remember, it's only what you think that holds you back.

The time for you to start winning is now. It’s time to stop tolerating stress and bad circumstances. Now is the time to start doing what matters most to you.

Make new choices, reduce your stress, and focus on improving your life!

Make one new choice today to start living a better life tomorrow!

Mr. Self-Care Says:

mr. self-care

Mr. Self-Care

So many times people say “this is just how it is”, or “I can’t change that right now”, or “I don’t want to rock the boat” It is nearly impossible for them to see that they are creating limitations in their life. They think everyone else is holding them back. But in reality it’s only their choices.

I practice making new choices each week. When I make a new choice I remove something old, and then replace it with something new. A perfect example is the gym. I have been going to the same gym for 6 months. But now it’s inconvenient to my schedule. So I decided to start working out from home again.

I decided to take the monthly fee  of $55 and apply it to the purchase of equipment for my home gym.

One small change with a quick solution and a big time savings.


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